If I Didn't Have You
by Kate Rosen
Summary: Missing scene from 4x17 #FindKaylaWeber. After a tough day, Andy stops by the condo to check on Sharon.


**A/N:** This was originally going to be a tag to 4x17 #FindKaylaWeber, but when I re-watched the episode I realized that it's more of a missing scene that would fit between the two days in which the episode takes place. This scene would come after the team finished the interview with the bodyguard, and Sharon would have sent everyone home for the night. I understand why there was no romantic Shandy interaction in the episode, but I can't help but fill in the blanks. I hope you enjoy, and if you do, please send me a note to tell me so. Next week is the finale, my friends, and the beginning of another hiatus. Hopefully I'll have time to work on my multi-chapter fic then and start posting. Cheers!

 **Disclaimer:** The title is taken from the Thompson Square song of the same name, because it reminds me of Shandy. These characters do not belong to me, but I feel like they need some loving, so I borrow them for that purpose and then return them ;)

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 **If I Didn't Have You** by Kate Rosen

 _This is a bad idea_ , Andy Flynn thought to himself as he stood outside the door to Sharon's condo. The last thing that he wanted to do was to barge in on her unannounced, but he was worried about her. He'd seen how broken she looked after they'd finished interviewing the Webers' bodyguard and she'd sent everyone home for the evening. Cases with kids got to all of them, but he'd seen them hit Sharon especially hard. Being a mother was so much a part of her DNA, that she was never really able to turn that side of her off, even at work. He saw her identify with the mother in this case like so many times before, but then when they'd learned what she had done to her child...

She wasn't answering her phone. He'd tried calling and texting a few times. Originally, he had thought about accompanying her home when they'd left the station over two hours ago, but there was something else he had to do first.

Now he needed to make sure she was okay. He looked at the key in his hand. She'd given it to him back when Rusty was still under police protection. And then when he'd been staying with her, he'd used it as he came and went. Maybe he should have given it back to her by now. He sighed, and decided to try knocking first. He rapped the door softly three times and paused to listen. Silence.

It was after 10. Could she be sleeping? He shook his head. She didn't usually go to bed this early, and after a case like they'd had today, she'd need time to unwind. He raised his eyes above and said a silent prayer that he was doing the right thing before he slid the key in the lock and turned it, pushing the door open slowly.

"Sharon?" he called softly. He noticed her keys in the dish by the door and her purse on its usual hook. Her heels had been hastily discarded on the floor, so he knew she was home, but everything was dark.

He turned toward the hallway and noticed a sliver of light beneath the bathroom door. Maybe she was taking a bath. If so, he wouldn't bother her, but hearing a disturbing noise made him creep further down the hall. It was the sound of someone being sick. He paused outside the bathroom door for a few minutes until she quieted, then he knocked ever so softly.

"Sharon, it's me," was all he said, just wanting her to know he was there.

"Andy?" Her voice was barely a whisper, but he still heard it. He ached to rush in and save her from her pain, but he waited. "Hold on," she pleaded, and he heard the toilet flush and the faucet turn on. Then there was the sound of her toothbrush clinking against its holder and a beat of silence before the door finally opened. Her face was ashen; her eyes red-rimmed.

"Sharon," he breathed as he pulled her to himself, wrapping his arms around her protectively and rubbing her back in small circles.

She snaked her arms under his jacket and around his waist and pulled him tight against her. He could feel her tears soaking into his shirt as she shed them silently. After a few minutes, he pulled back to look at her, while still keeping her loosely encircled in his embrace. Using his thumb, he wiped the tears from her face.

"How did you know?" she asked.

He studied her quizzically. "Know what?"

"That I needed you. How did you know? I didn't even know it myself until I heard your voice outside the door." She fiddled with his tie nervously as she spoke. "I've been wandering around here since I got home, trying to figure out what I needed. After Rusty went to bed, I poured myself a glass of wine and just stared at it before dumping it down the sink. Then I filled the bathtub, but I couldn't make myself get in. The water's probably gone cold by now…" Her voice trailed off, but he didn't rush to fill the silence. He was giving her time to process her thoughts.

"I've been sitting on the bathroom floor in there, trying to figure out what I wanted. What I needed. And then I just got so sick to my stomach. That hasn't happened to me in a long time. It's just this case. The little girl. And that mother…"

Andy continued to rub her back while she went on. "It was you, Andy. You're what I needed, and here you are." She finally looked up at him. "How did you know?"

He couldn't help but smile down at her. "I could see in your face how much you were hurting. I've wanted to wrap my arms around you all day, but it wasn't the time or place. We needed to finish the case. And then I needed to get away. I went to a meeting, and then I called Nicole on my way over here, just to hear her voice. Then I came to see you. And you know what? I needed you, too." He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Come on, let's go sit down." He nodded toward the living room, still keeping one arm around her as they walked.

When they sat together on the couch, Andy situated himself in one corner, and Sharon curled up against him, laying her head on his chest and clasping her hand with his over his heart.

"I miss you," she whispered.

Andy glanced down at her, puzzled. "I'm right here, Sharon. And we've been together almost constantly for the past 24 hours working on this case."

Sharon sat up to look at him but didn't release her hold on his hand. "I know, Andy, and you have no idea how glad I was to have you working beside me. I know that you're upset that you can't be in the field right now, but I don't know what I would have done if you weren't right there with me on this case." She squeezed his hand before continuing. "But that's not what I'm talking about. I miss having you here, at home. I miss being able to sit and talk with you in the evening. I miss having breakfast with you. I miss your laundry being mixed in with mine. But I also know that we're not ready for this to be a permanent arrangement. I just can't help how I feel."

Andy ran his thumb over her knuckles in a soft caress. "I miss you, too, Sharon, but we'll get there. I know we will. We just need to give it time."

She leaned in to kiss his lips softly, lingering for a few seconds before pulling back. "Thank you for coming here, Andy. I know you must be exhausted."

Andy smiled. "I am, but I needed to see you, too. And you've been taking care of me a lot lately. It's my turn to take care of you. Can I make you some tea, or…"

Sharon shook her head in response. Tea was not what she needed right now. She began to bite her bottom lip. He could tell she was struggling with something.

"What is it?" he asked.

"If you could just hold me?" she phrased it like a question, uncertainty in her gaze.

"Of course," he answered, pulling her back down to his chest, with his one arm wrapped around her and the other still holding her hand. "I'll hold you as long as you need."

"Good, because I'm not ready to let you go just yet."

"Good, because I wasn't planning on going anywhere." He kissed the top of her head, then he spoke into her hair, "close your eyes, sweetheart. Try and get some rest." Breathing in the scent of her, he said a silent prayer of gratitude to whatever higher power had thought fit to bless him with this woman. He certainly wasn't planning on letting her go anytime soon. If it was up to him, he'd never let her go at all.


End file.
